whatigotsofar version 2.0

I Can’t Think of Anything to Blog About

August 19, 2008 · 6 Comments

I’ve got very few ideas for blog postings. Today, I’m going to ask you, the readers, for blog ideas.

Who wants to read why I think Starship Troopers is the best movie ever? Show of hands please.

Who wants to read about the upcoming concert season in Toronto and which acts are actually worth seeing? Show of hands please.

Who wants me to do another of those Ask WIGSF posts?

Any other ideas you’d like to see here at WhatIGotSoFar version 2.0, please let me know.

But for now, please be entertained by some haiku poems.

Autumn Must Be Here
Autumn must be here
Golden leaves are on the ground
As the birds fly south.

Solitude
My lover is gone
With her, she takes love and hope
To hurt another.

Goth
I live in the dark
The darkness is one with me
Fear and pain to all.

→ 6 CommentsCategories: Poetry · Q&A
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WIGSF Explains the Appeal of Bruce Springsteen

August 18, 2008 · 12 Comments

Hex at Sleep Dirt wrote a blog post about having to deal with Bruce Springsteen fans and him not liking Bruce Springsteen. I left a comment saying “I love Bruce Springsteen. That is all.” Hex responded with “Well can you help me out then? What’s the appeal? I’m not trying to bag on you, I actually want to know.” I started to leave a comment on his blog but stopped when I realized it was getting pretty long, so I moved it here. This way, others can read my thoughts on Bruce Springsteen. Sure, the Internet was invented so people can read what some nerd thinks about Star Trek. But dammit, I strive to make the Internet a little bit more than just that. I want my little corner of the Internet to be what some nerd thinks about Bruce Springsteen.

I can’t tell you what the appeal was in 1975 with Born to Run, I wasn’t born yet. I can’t say why Born in the USA was so special, I was like 3 or 4 when it was released. All I can tell you is why I love Bruce Springsteen.

I didn’t really start listening to Bruce until I was in high school and only started because I, myself, wanted to know what the appeal was with Bruce Springsteen. I asked myself that very question you’re asking me. Instead of talking to people, I just grabbed some of his albums and started listening. Before that, I was only familiar with the hits from Born in the USA and the song Born to Run. Everything else was completely new to me. Everything I heard, I liked immediately.

This is why I love Bruce Springsteen.

The songs tell wonderful stories. Born to Run is a collection of short stories told through song. The stories themselves are nothing earth-shattering, but that’s what makes them interesting. In Thunder Road, he’s not going after the most beautiful girl in the world. The character tells this woman “You ain’t a beauty, but hey, you’re alright. And that’s alright with me.” You can’t go upto a woman and say that without getting slapped.

Throughout that entire song, I’m sucked into this little world that exists only in that song. I’m in the world created by the words. I can see the world Bruce has created for his audience. I see this winding beach road travelling north along the eastern shoreline. The Sun is about to rise up out of the ocean. The left side of the street is lined with tiny shotgun shacks, surrounded by rusty, chainlink fences. Each house is delapitated in it’s own special way. Shutters swinging in the breeze. The thin beach on the right is filthy with random bits of garbage: empty bottles, hub caps and such. I get all of that from listening to Thunder Road everytime it’s played.

No other artist’s lyrics so frequently give me such a vivid image in my mind of the world inside a song: Spirit in the Night takes me down to Greasy Lake, Born in the USA takes me to a worn down veteran’s hall, My City of Ruins, ground zero, watching that flag being pulled from the wreckage of the twin towers.

A recurring theme in Bruce’s earlier writings is getting away. Whether it’s for one night just to have some fun or getting away forever because there’s no hope left in this town. It’s a pretty simple idea that pretty much any artist could do, but none (in my opinion) really ever do, with the exception of Third Eye Blind*.

Bruce is also one of the few artists that gets me to sing along. I’m no singer, in fact, I’m probably tone deaf. But when I hear Blinded by the Light or Badlands or Prove it all Night, I usually hurt my throat and lose my breath singing along. Listening to Bruce makes me feel good. And isn’t that what music should do.


Now, I can’t defend everything Bruce has released. It’s not all great. There is a lot of shit in his catalogue, but anybody with a catalogue that big has got some shit in there. It was the ’80s. Everybody sucked in the ’80s. But certainly with Born in the USA, the song is hampered by poor production, or more specifically, over-production. A stripped-down, Nebraska-esque version of the song exists and is far better (in my opinion and the opinions of everybody I’ve ever seen write on the subject of Bruce’s production in the 1980s) because it isolates the song. The production on Born in the USA is everything the song is not. The song is sad, the song is a sarcastic view of being American; but the production is upbeat and plastic. The production sells the song as “USA A-Okay” while the lyrics tell you something completely different. Maybe that’s what Bruce was trying to do. Maybe he was trying to subtly implant the possibility of American imperfection by making a song that easily sells itself as being a pro-American rallying cry. And maybe it just didn’t work.

Well, I hope that answers your question. If it doesn’t, do I what I did. Grab a copy of Born to Run and listen to it from start to finish.


* Long story short, Third Eye Blind’s self-titled album is the closest thing to Born to Run, in terms of story-telling and subject matter, that I’ve ever heard.

→ 12 CommentsCategories: Music
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Weekend Recap: I want you to stag me!

August 18, 2008 · 9 Comments

This past Friday night was my brother’s stag party. My father (un)organized the party. It was an absolute mess. Almost everything that could have gone wrong, went wrong. My father has no organizational skills what-so-ever.

Half of the people at the party thought the stag was for me. I guess my father didn’t specify which son was getting married when he started proclaiming “My son is getting married.” Some people even thought my brother was younger than me. That really hurt. He’s got so many gray hairs.

Let me back up a bit in case you are unfamiliar with how Italians do a stag party. It is usually held at a banquet hall. Lots of food is served and drinks are offered. Entrance is gained through purchase of a ticket. (This year’s going rate is $75.) There are a variety of games and raffles set up in order to generate revenue to later be given to the groom. Raffle tickets are sold by the groomsmen and the hired models. By models, I mean women who are pretty much all leg and breasts. They spend the evening walking around flirting with all the guys in order to extract more money for the groom.

One of the models, had legs right up to her breasts. Starting from the floor, she was leg, leg, breast, breast and face. That’s it. I’m surprised she managed to keep her balance and not fall down from a light breeze. (So I don’t have to field any questions about this later, $50 tip got me a peck on the cheek and a hug.)

After the awful ordeal I had of trying to organize this stag while the stag itself was going on made me hate stags all the more. Never, never, never, never, never am I going to put my brother through this if I ever hit my head real hard and decide to get married. The bullshit my father put me through for this ordeal is something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.

But now it is over, all that’s left is the bachelor party and the wedding. The BP I’ve got under control and the wedding, well, the bride and groom will keep that under control, I’ve just got to come up with a half decent speech.

→ 9 CommentsCategories: Hell
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er

August 14, 2008 · 13 Comments

An advertising campaign has swept into the GTA. White billboards with the letters “er” started popping up everywhere. The sides of buses and in their shelters too.

After a few days, the billboards were expanded to say the word “better” as the advertising campaign was further revealed. This campaign is for Bell Canada: a telephone, satellite television and internet service provider.

The campaigning strategy is nothing new. It seems that everybody is trying to do a campaign like this every once in a while. What is noteworthy is that this marks an end to Bell Canada’s beaver marketing campaign.

For far too long, Bell Canada has allowed a pair of computer generated beavers to be their spokespersons. The beavers named Frank and Gordon were voiced by Norm MacDonald and Ken Campbell (the fat guy in Herman’s Head). These commercials made me seriously reconsider removing Bell Canada as my current telephone service provider. The images of the beavers were hideous. Bell couldn’t have chosen a cuter, cartoonier image for the beavers, no, they had to go with the more realistic CGI.

To make matters worse, the ad campaign was everywhere. Radio commercials, you know the ones where the two people with really annoying voices yammer on back and forth, yup, these beavers were on the radio. On Saturday morning when I flipped through the newspaper looking for the funnies, I’d pass pages of ads were their ugly faces. Bell Canada did everything but drop Frank and Gordon plush toys from blimps onto unsuspecting pedestrians.

But I am glad that these two beavers have been stuffed.

→ 13 CommentsCategories: Hell
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Scary Meme

August 12, 2008 · 18 Comments

I got tagged by Modobs to do this meme of five things that scared me when I was a child.

  1. Cyborgs - Yeah, The Terminator got to me. Still a great movie though. Seeing the Terminator help Sarah and John in the sequel did a lot to ease my fears.
  2. Wrinkley Old People - You know those really old people with lots of wrinkles and can barely move and when they do, it’s always with their outstretched hand like it’s coming to get you.
  3. My Uncle Joe - Right after I saw Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, my uncle scared me a little bit. You see, he looks just like that guy who would rip the hearts out of the sacrificed people. I mean he looks exactly like that guy.
  4. Vegetables - What little boy isn’t afraid of a brussel sprout?
  5. Girls - Girls have cooties. ’nuff said.

In keeping with the theme of five things that scared me, I’m going to tag the five bloggers who scare me the most. Woozie, because he keeps yelling at me to make him a sandwich and the whole drunk guy wielding an AK-47 thing; and four women, because they have cooties and cooties are scary: Miss Ash, Random Chick, Claire and JLee.

→ 18 CommentsCategories: Blogroll · List · Meme
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Century Club

August 11, 2008 · 11 Comments

These three guys I know decided to partake in an activity called Century Club. The activity is as such: 100 shots of beer in 100 minutes.

Let that little bit of insanity sink in for a moment.

You ready? Okay.

At 9:01, they all took a shot. At 10:40, they all took their 100th shot. In between, the three guys waddled over to the men’s room for a combined six vomitings.

You’ve got some questions, dontcha. So here’s the Century Club F.A.Q.

Q: What sort of beer was being consumed?

A: Mostly Brava, a local buck-a-beer similar to Corona. One person though started with Guiness, then went to Heiniken and completed with Grolsch. No light beers were consumed in any part of this activity.

 

Q: Was this a competition or just a friendly exhibition of resistance to alcohol poisoning>

A: This was a friendly exhibition.

 

Q: Did anybody try to stop them?

A: Beforehand, none that I know of. During, yes. I actively told one participant to stop after his second vomiting at the 50 minute mark. The other participants made every assurance that he would not be ridiculed for giving up at the half-way point.

 

Q: Who are these morons?

A: To protect their identity, I will not be given out that information.

 

Q: How was this activity regulated?

A: Two sobers guys watching the clock, helping to pour and having routes to local emergency wards planned out in advance.

 

Q: Did anybody manage to complete the activity without throwing up?

A: One guy lasted until his 98th shot before throwing up. While another guy threw up 4 times during and once immediately afterwards.

 

Q: Whose crazy idea was this?

A: Not sure but it was probably the idea of the guy who said his life goal is to live in an apartment above a bar.

 

Q: Who invented this potentially fatal activity?

A: Upon performing a Wikipedia search, I was unable to determine the true inventor of this game, but my money’s on some drunken frats guys trying to come up with new hazing rituals.

 

Q:So, how much beer is that really?

A: One bottle of beer provides around 12 shots. That works out to around 8 1/2 bottles of beer. A bottle is 341 mL and contains 5% alcohol content or ~17.05 mL at time of bottling.

 

Q: WHY????

A: Some sort of chest pumping, testosterone fueled challenge of masculinity.

 

So, there you have it folks. Three grown men drinking themselves stupid(er).

Afterwards, we all went out for pizza. The three participants really weren’t that drunk. Their bodies rejected so much of the alcohol, that there was little left to altar their minds any further.

The following is a list of phrases spoken during the activity by the participants.

  • “That was the easiest vomit I’ve ever had.”
  • “Grolsch sucks!”
  • “I can make a shawarma from what I just threw up.”
  • “I’m so cold.”
  • “Is he throwing up already?”
  • “Why am I so cold?”
  • “Who cares if female volleyball players have small tits? All I need is a mouthful.”
  • “So, again next weekend?”

→ 11 CommentsCategories: Hell · Overhearings · Q&A
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Not Feeling It Right Now

August 8, 2008 · 12 Comments

A couple weeks ago I changed my cable package. Gone is The Movie Network and the 1 good movie it plays every week amongst the dozens of movies so bad I’m happy I forgot them (or as I like to call them The Luke Wilson Video Library). Instead of TMN, I put in something called the VIP Package. Wow! I’m a VIP!

Long story short, twenty bucks less, twenty more channels. Channels like Peachtree and Discovery and Turner Classic Movies.

So, with my new found channels, I’ve been spending more time flipping around the dial. Here are some of the things I’ve been watching lately:

On that sports news network, the so-called “home for the hardcore,” I’ve been watching a gameshow produced by ESPN called Stump the Schwab. The premise is simple. It’s a trivia gameshow, but all the questions are sports related. Basically, it’s Win Ben Stein’s Money but instead of Ben Stein, the contestants have to beat the Schwab, a furry whale-like creature dressed in a stretched-out sports jersey, in a battle of sports knowledge. If I knew the starting lineup of the 2002 NCAA Men’s Basketball championship team or who Bjorn Borg beat at the French Open, I could win a cool grand. I think I’ll stick to not knowing those tidbits of useless information.

When I was younger, and a die-hard Atlanta Braves fan, TBS was a channel I couldn’t get enough of. But as time passed, I got rid of TBS. I was watching too many episodes of Three’s Company and Mama’s Family. In other words, I sat through a single entire episode of Mama’s Family. Cry for help, I most certainly think so. TBS was then banished from my home. Also, the illegal satellite hook-up was too much of a pain to keep maintaining, so I gave in a got a cable package, one that didn’t include TBS. But alas, Ted Turner is out, and now the channel is called Peachtree. Still basically airing programming in the same style, the same seven movies over and over again and rerun sitcoms in the non-prime time hours. Except there’s a lot more African Americans now. In other words, finally a channel where I can see The Wood on a weekly basis, even if they edit the crap out of it.

Does anybody remember that Tom & Jerry cartoon series that was made for television. The ones where Tom & Jerry were friends, not adversaries, and Jerry wore a red bow tie. I’ve been watching that on Teletoon Retro (Canada’s Boomerang) in between The Flintstones and Scooby-Doo. Why were Tom and Jerry friends? How did that happen? I took the time to read the credits. Produced by Jayne Barbera. See people, that’s what happens when you put a woman in charge of a violent cat and mouse team. They make nice. What’s next? Overdubbing the old stereotypical black lady’s voice from the original shorts with a very white sounding voice…

Yeah, I’m still pissed about that overdubbing.

→ 12 CommentsCategories: Animation · Cinema · Television
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